


Tragic Backstory Unlocked

by Willowanderer



Series: Monstrous Roommates [15]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Death, Discussion of mental illness, Homophobia, M/M, Werewolf, discussion of suicide, ghost - Freeform, monster au, mummy - Freeform, vampire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:28:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21586870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willowanderer/pseuds/Willowanderer
Summary: Look, I'm sorry.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil/Creativity | Roman/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton, Thomas Sanders & Everyone
Series: Monstrous Roommates [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1470683
Comments: 25
Kudos: 267





	Tragic Backstory Unlocked

“I found Thomas!” Patton said proudly. “He was an internet personality..” 

They gathered around behind Patton, who played some clips on YouTube. 

“Yeah, that’s Thomas. He’s _adorable_.” Roman laughed. Virgil raised an eyebrow. “What? He is. Deny it.” 

“No, that’s a trap.” he elbowed Roman. “Gaaaay.”

“How dare my own boyfriend insinuate that I am homosexual.” 

“That’s me, betrayal in tight pants.”

“Leave the nicknames to me.” 

Patton continued watching vine compilations on YouTube while they bickered good naturedly. Finally it petered out.

“Internet personality, huh?” Virgil asked. 

“Yep! He was making a career out of making people happy by being silly- oh, and he was doing musical theatre, too.” 

“Sounds like he really does fit right in with us.” Roman chuckled. “Oooh I wonder if he can help me practice duets.”

“Look Roman, it’s you-” Virgil teased as the video played Thomas being an overly theatrical prince character. 

“Ha- jokes on you, I love it.” Roman cosied himself up against Virgil’s chest. 

“How did you manage to find him? We don’t even know his last name.” Virgil asked.

“Yes, but we do know he lived here.” Patton pointed out. His shoulders stiffened slightly, and he kept staring at the screen, and the cheerful recorded voice. 

“Pat?” Virgil inched closer taking Roman with him, so he could lay a hand on Patton’s shoulder. 

“And died here.” 

“That’s what the issue is, isn’t it?” 

“Yeah. I mean, death is a natural part of life, you know? Things live, they love, they die, the cycle continues. Babies. Babies are cute. Nothing wrong with death. I mean other than losing people you care about and not being able to see them any more and -” 

“Patton? You’re avoiding a subject.” 

He winced, but had to smile that he was known and loved so well. 

“Well…he was found dead of suicide.”

“I did _what_?” 

Turning they saw Thomas had manifested from about the hips up, faded, but plainly visible. “Sorry, hi guys.” he spread his hands like he was balancing himself. 

“Hi Thomas!” 

His improved ability to show himself had taken some getting used to. After the initial appearance, he’d laid low, barely talking for a few days. Now he did it fairly often, but tried to open by saying something, not just appearing without warning. 

“But I _killed_ myself?” He looked utterly confused. “That doesn’t sound like me, I assumed I’d had like a heart attack or something.” 

“That’s what the obituary said.” Patton regretfully changed windows, and pointed at the laptop screen. Thomas peered at it.

“I mean, I had some problems with depression, but nothing like that.” He shifted in place, visible body moving like he’d sat down. 

“You don’t remember?” 

“I don’t remember anything about dying.” Thomas admitted. “I just…” his face twitched, contorting into a grimace and he flickered. “I… woke up like this, there’s some… thoughts, fragments, but I thought they were a dream.” He shuddered again, and looked like breaking film. The lights flickered.

“It’s cool, stay calm, take a deep breath.” Patton coached automatically. Again Thomas bounced in place slightly. The temperature of the room fluxuated just slightly, if they hadn’t been aware it might happen they probably would have missed it. 

“It like... Hurts to think about it.” Reaching out, he ran his hand over the rose quartz star that Emile had given him. “I can think about my life okay; I mean, it hurts to think about my friends, but that’s more of a lonely way. But when I think about dying there’s like a painful blank spot. Even still... I can’t imagine I’d kill myself. I was writing a musical. I was so excited.” 

“I don’t know what to say, kiddo.” Patton rubbed the back of his neck. “I mean. That kind of thing isn’t usually done in a rational way.”

“More rational than you’d think.” Virgil mumbled. Everyone looked at him and he looked uncomfortable. “I believe you Thomas.”

“Thanks but... I guess it’s true. Maybe that’s why it hurts to think about it.” Thomas sighed, form wavering. “Not something I want to think about myself.” 

“Facts are facts, like Logan says.” Roman said sadly. 

“No, if Thomas says he doesn’t think he would have done that, I’m going to believe him.” Virgil shook his head, then exhaled slowly. “I have… some experience with suicide.” 

“Virge?” 

He looked at his hands, and pushed up the edge of one sleeve.

“You can’t seem them any more, because apparently after being a vampire a while, scars start to fade, but I used to have scars right here.” He traced his thumbnail down the inside of his arm a few inches, not meeting anyone’s eyes. 

“What happened?” 

“I was institutionalized by my family. _That_ was fun.” He fluffed his bangs.

“But why?” 

“It wasn’t a great time to be gay. My family, they… had a lot of expectations. I didn’t fit.” 

“That’s terrible.” 

“Eh.” he shrugged. “I don’t know if it was depression so much as stress, I guess. I just didn’t want to deal with everything any more. It was too much. So I tried. I tried not to be who I was. And it was worse.” It was all coming out now. “So then I left. I think I always thought I was just going to get it right, let everything go after I left my family. But I was so busy then. There was stress but it was _good_ . Crap ass little apartment, in _New Jersey_. But I’d wake up and my first thought wouldn’t always be ‘God, this shit again’. I mean, I wasn’t great to myself. Way to much booze, unprotected sex and late nights. But that wasn’t to hurt me. Got good at running lights and sound equipment. Got an even crappier apartment in the city. Met Remy. Drank too much expresso.” 

“Those two related?” Roman joked weakly

“Oh _absolutely_ , I didn’t know it existed until he introduced me to it.” he kept running his thumb up and down his forearm. “Things got weird again after I…” He bit his lower lip, worrying it. “Well. Turns out it’s really hard to kill yourself when you’re already dead.” 

He looked up to see Thomas staring at him with tears in his eyes. 

“Virgil…” 

“Uh-” 

Thomas flung himself forward, heading straight through Virgil and giving him an extreme chill.

“GAH!”

“Darn it!” Thomas turned around, form wavering and significantly more transparent. “Somebody hug Virgil!” He flapped his arms ineffectively. 

“On it!” Patton lunged out of his seat to collide with Virgil.

“OoF! Hold on-” before he could say anything more, Roman hit him from a slightly different angle, sending all three of them to the floor. “Well this is just great.” he mumbled from the bottom of the pile. 

“Do I even want to know?” Logan asked, looking down at them. From the looks of things, he’d just returned from grocery shopping. 

“No.” Virgil stared at the ceiling. 

“We unlocked Virgil’s tragic backstory!” Thomas said “And mine, apparently. But Virgil remembers his, so it’s sadder!” 

Setting down the groceries, Logan peered at the open laptop. 

“Oh, it’s you, Thomas. Youtube, huh.”

“I liked Vine better.” Thomas shrugged. 

“Vine’s dead.”

“Oh son of a-” Thomas blinked out rather than finishing his swear.

**Author's Note:**

> Virgil's experiences with suicide are just his, and should not be taken as a universal.  
> If you're feeling like that, please, talk to someone.
> 
> Virgil's family is from Connecticut, if that matters to anyone.


End file.
